'just the two of us' (moment picture #1)

 "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good ol' days, before you've actually left them."

-Andy Bernard, The Office. 

One of my favorite moments happened just before my brother left on his mission. We were coming back home from driving all over africa to find a certain camera, when we decided to listen to the old music we could both agree on.

 First came Good Charlotte, Yellow Card, Hawthorne Heights, and Fall Out Boy but  by then our lungs were sick of screaming and we changed it to old school rap, that we both used to love. 

Will Smith's voice carried us into Lehi and just as we were turning into our neighborhood, I snapped a picture of my brother driving and smiling. Drake, with absolutely no idea, gave me my favorite picture.

'just the two of us.'

Its one of my all time favorite pictures, period. 

(I may have too many favorites...  but this picture is a real favorite. the favorite kind you look at too often. The kind that you look it and can remember details of the moment that you took the picture, the sequence of events that took place that day and how happy you both were. Wedding Day type of pictures.) 

 "You wont even notice he's gone, You'll be finnnne" said my one of my aunts.

   I miss him in a way I don't think she missed her brother.
maybe its good, in the sense that we were so close, but maybe its bad, in the sense that I'm wasting my time at work to re-read his emails and write this post about him.


I love pictures like this; taken right in the middle of life, the middle of a sentence, a 'moment picture.'

#only22moremonths!!!

The Office.

The Office.  

(que piano theme song here.)

This television show is my absolute favorite show.
I cannot go a week without watching an episode, and honestly, this show is the only reason I keep an active Netflix account.

It's simply hilarious and outrageously sarcastic. The awkward humor makes me cringe at times, but it makes the show, what it is.

The Office is supposed to be a documentary following a everyday American work place and while the story line is that, the characters in the show are versions of your co-workers just exaggerated.

Example A: Michael Scott (regional manager) just gets it.

Example B: John Krasinski as Jim Halpert. He'll make you fall in love in three episodes or less, money back guaranteed. Acting as the comedic relief, the best friend, and of course the realist, he keeps the show down to earth.

Example C: Micheal and Toby's relationship is just like every single relationship you've dreamed of having with that one person that you just don't like. Everyone has one person they can't stand.

Example D:  Two words, one name. CREED BRATTON. creepiest man, and yet everyone has that one creepy, sketchy person in their life. 

Example E: Dwight & Jim. A friendship that was so much more than two co-workers forced to sit by each other for 8 years. 

and last but not least, Example F:  Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly. My favorite love story, of almost all time. 

But. The largest reason I believe this show is amazing, is because everything is so simple, and it takes place in a simple setting with average characters. No one has super powers, no one makes it big, no one does anything absolutely life-changing. It happens in a Paper Selling Company, it's (for the most part) the same characters for all 8 years. 

I love this show because its not about finding your dreams and living them. It's about keeping a steady job and dealing with real life things. Its about making the best with what you already have. 

The office is about taking average things, and making them special to you, making them happy and good enough for you. 

pretty things & deep thoughts.

Some days, I wish I was more creative, more out going, more lovely. 

Some days I wish I could fly to a little town in Italy and never return.

Some days I remember why I keep going to school and I why I work so hard to create a future for myself. 

Some days, I'm certain that people are freaking out of their minds. 

Some days, I'm determined to spend every minute watching The Office and drinking sprite. 

& then there are days like today. Where I'm just completely comfortable and happy to continue my routine life. Its okay that I haven't traveled anywhere in two years. It's okay that I'm in the middle of my long school haul. It's okay that I can't plan one year in advance. 

Its okay, because I have pretty things to remind me that life isn't about planning or doing or even having, but more about being. Being happy, being productive, being alive, being a little better everyday. 

And that is okay.  

Even if it is just for today. 

In Terms of Life.

In Terms of Life. 

My parents have taught me so, so much about life by their example and their willingness to take the time to show me tough love. Over and over when I was younger my mom would say "Well, life isn't fair." and she wouldn't listen to, or give into my whines. I thank the heavens that she didn't.

I think people are forgetting that life isn't fair. Sometimes we don't get the parking spot, the promotion, the pretty picture, the grade, the guy, the before hand knowledge we all need, the vacation we dreamed, the crazy wild Friday nights. Sometimes we get to park in Africa, we get to keep our wage, we get to be the "behind the scenes"[C.M.] girl, we get to screw up and get hurt, we get to sit alone on a Friday night and watch re-runs of The Office. Life isn't all peaches and cream or those of us on a diet, life isn't all peas and carrots.

This lesson, however, is a extremely hard lesson to grasp. Sometimes, you can do everything right, work hard, come early & stay late, give it your all, try everything you possibly know, and STILL don't get want you've been working for. On the same breath, you can try your very least, have every single thing that could possibly go wrong, go wrong and still have it come out perfectly. Life is a crazy twister of give and take that we signed up for.Sometimes you get the short end of the stick, and others you get the long end.

I've recently read the book "My Story" written by Elizabeth Smart & Christ Stewart. The book itself is pretty intense, and a lot to take in, apparently being kidnapped is a traumatic experience even if you're reading it second hand. Elizabeth explains her terrible tragic story of being kidnapped for 9 months and learning to live with it afterwards. People wonder how she can live a normal life, still believe and love a God, and have her own family. Smart attributes much of her recovery to her faith, writing she “never felt closer to God than I did throughout my nightmare with Mitchell.” When I go through hard things or see others go through hard things I can't help but wonder how close to Heavenly Father are they growing. I always grow the most within the hardest times. Maybe we get the short end of the stick, to learn to hang on tighter, trust more, and figure things out. 

It's such beautiful, peaceful moment when life hands you the long end of the stick after an unexpected turn though. Everything goes wrong, you aren't sure whether or not anything will last, and suddenly, it does. After a long week, month, year, something breaks through and makes it all better. 

Life isn't fair, but that is what makes life worth it. You learn and you grow and get what you deserve and sometimes you get nothing, and that's okay. A fair life doesn't equal a happy life anyways.